... blong?

Yeah.





Hopefully now I'll be able to sneak the tablecloths and books on "Minerals and Gemstones" and the unforgettable "Existential Pleasures of Engineering" out of my room without someone putting them back in the middle of my floor.

We might also turn the new leanto into an Alpha Male Battle Arena. We'd be manly and flex our biceps and stuff, and talk about masculine things like beer and women, and how many times we'd farted that day. If that fails, I'll do it in my bedroom.

Anyway, onto the main topic of discussion, I found a tooth. It may be a wisdom tooth, but as I'm not actually sure what they are, it's probably just trying to cause me as much pain as possible by coming through ten years too late. At any rate it makes me wise, just like Rafiki. I might grow a beard and give people advice on tweed, and then whack hyenas around the head with a stick with orange coconuts on the end.

*whack!* "it's in the past." "Yeah, but it still hurts!" "ah yes, de past can hurt."



He is WISE.

Italians are really weird.

One thing they cannot do is drive. At all. Not even in a straight line. Instead, they tend to go for the racing curve, regardless of who's in the way. Lanes are seen as optional; a kind of route that you could follow if you wanted to, but it would be a bit boring.

The police are even worse. We arrived in Rome the Friday before last (the day of the Pope's funeral and hence the busiest day Rome has seen in its 2759-year history, with, I'm told, over 6 million people; pretty good timing on our part really). With surprising idiocy, the Italian government had decided to place about half of Italy's police force on Rome's ringroad. They are physically incapable of driving. They're under the impression that the car doesn't work unless its siren is on, and that crashing is an inevitable fact of driving, and hence is not worth trying to avoid.

They have amazing icecreams though. We went to the best icecream shop in the world, San Crispino I believe, and had the best icecream in the world. And then, a couple of days later, we did it AGAIN. From experiment, I can conclude that the best icecream ever invented is their Pear, Apple and Wild Orange.

Mmmm.

I decided the Romans were awesome. They not only conquered, looted and enslaved the entire known world, but built statues to how great they were. What more could anyone want from an ancient civilisation?

The PGFs also performed in Ye Olde Romane Amphitheatre, in which the accoustics were amazing. When we get world-famous we'll build an amphitheatre and make people pay lots of money to come and watch us in full gangsta.

Knows it.

The other day, I was hungry. I'd spent all day metabolising, and needed some nourishment. I wanted an iced bun, but we had none.

I therefore decided to make one. Out of bread.

Scene: several innocent kitchen ingredients, gathered round one lonesome chunk of granary and walnut bread.



Enter Max: a malicious devil with intent to plunder and loot the kitchen for his own vicious satisfaction.



(No animals were harmed in the making of this bun. Promise.)



You can't see it in this pic, but this bread was, by now, thoroughly plundered. At the bottom was a layer of butter, followed by a drizzling of honey, some coffee, a sprinkling of white sugar, hot chocolate, brown sugar, nesquik and some more honey. Throughout the affair were several layers of embedded raisins. On the top half of the bread was cream, and more raisins.

The finished article:



And the most surprising thing? It was actually pretty tasty.



Think I may have overdone the coffee though.